GCSE English Language Paper 1 Question 4: evaluation with worked examples

The last delivery

Original contemporary prose fiction. On the last afternoon before their father closes his bakery, Leila and her older brother Sam deliver unsold bread to nearby flats.

1. 1The van door needed lifting before it would shut. Sam knew the trick; Leila had to ask him twice.
2. 2Inside, the bread lay in blue trays, each loaf wearing the small paper collar their father insisted on.
3. 3He had printed his own name on those collars, in gold letters, twenty-three years before Leila was born.
4. 4Sam turned the radio up. From the passenger seat she could still hear the trays knocking together behind them.
5. 5At the first building he carried three loaves upstairs and came back holding a folded ten-pound note.
6. 6“She insisted,” he said, although Leila had not asked. He tucked it behind the cracked plastic sun visor.
7. 7At number eighteen Mrs Vale opened her door before they knocked, a coat buttoned over her indoor clothes.
8. 8“I thought you might forget.” She addressed Leila, but watched the blue tray in Sam’s hands all the time.
9. 9Sam explained that this was the last delivery. He used his bright customer voice, the one without any questions.
10. 10Mrs Vale nodded too often. Behind her, an electric heater glowed against a wall stained with old damp.
11. 11“Well, everything changes.” She began searching her coat pockets, patting each one as if reassuring a small animal.
12. 12“These aren’t for sale,” Sam said. He put two loaves on the narrow table before she could find anything.
13. 13Leila glanced at him. That morning he had counted every remaining bag, even the torn ones they could not use.
14. 14“Your dad won’t like that,” Mrs Vale said. Her fingers stayed buried in the lining of her coat.
15. 15“He sent them.” Sam looked past her towards the window. “He said you always liked the dark crust.”
16. 16The woman stopped searching. With one hand she smoothed a paper collar that had twisted sideways during the journey.
17. 17“He remembered.” She said it quietly, and Leila found herself inspecting a crack in the pale ceiling above them.
18. 18On the stairs Sam moved quickly. His shoulders rose beneath the tray as though it had become unexpectedly heavy.
19. 19“Dad didn’t send them,” Leila said. He kept walking, taking care not to touch the dusty wall with his sleeve.
20. 20“He would have.” At the bottom step he waited for her, then added, “There’s a difference. A small one.”
21. 21Outside, a boy asked whether they had cakes. Sam said no, then opened the van and found a crushed bun.
22. 22He peeled away its paper case and offered it on a clean napkin. The boy accepted it without thanking him.
23. 23Sam watched him leave. “Excellent customer service,” Leila said, and was surprised when her brother laughed with her.
24. 24They sat in the parked van while the afternoon light withdrew, window by window, from the building opposite them.
25. 25Leila reached for the ten-pound note. “Shall I put this through the till when we get back to the shop?”
26. 26Sam took it first. For a moment she thought he was going to push it into his own jacket pocket.
27. 27Instead he folded it into a smaller square and placed it beneath a loose paper collar on the dashboard.
28. 28“Dad’s going to ask what we got for all of it.” His thumb rested over the little gold printed name.
29. 29Leila said they could tell him about Mrs Vale. Sam nodded, but did not start the engine straight away.
30. 30In the windscreen their two reflections sat on either side of the bread, waiting for someone to speak first.

Original fiction written for this course.

The last delivery

Original contemporary prose fiction. On the last afternoon before their father closes his bakery, Leila and her older brother Sam deliver unsold bread to nearby flats.

1. 1The van door needed lifting before it would shut. Sam knew the trick; Leila had to ask him twice.
2. 2Inside, the bread lay in blue trays, each loaf wearing the small paper collar their father insisted on.
3. 3He had printed his own name on those collars, in gold letters, twenty-three years before Leila was born.
4. 4Sam turned the radio up. From the passenger seat she could still hear the trays knocking together behind them.
5. 5At the first building he carried three loaves upstairs and came back holding a folded ten-pound note.
6. 6“She insisted,” he said, although Leila had not asked. He tucked it behind the cracked plastic sun visor.
7. 7At number eighteen Mrs Vale opened her door before they knocked, a coat buttoned over her indoor clothes.
8. 8“I thought you might forget.” She addressed Leila, but watched the blue tray in Sam’s hands all the time.
9. 9Sam explained that this was the last delivery. He used his bright customer voice, the one without any questions.
10. 10Mrs Vale nodded too often. Behind her, an electric heater glowed against a wall stained with old damp.
11. 11“Well, everything changes.” She began searching her coat pockets, patting each one as if reassuring a small animal.
12. 12“These aren’t for sale,” Sam said. He put two loaves on the narrow table before she could find anything.
13. 13Leila glanced at him. That morning he had counted every remaining bag, even the torn ones they could not use.
14. 14“Your dad won’t like that,” Mrs Vale said. Her fingers stayed buried in the lining of her coat.
15. 15“He sent them.” Sam looked past her towards the window. “He said you always liked the dark crust.”
16. 16The woman stopped searching. With one hand she smoothed a paper collar that had twisted sideways during the journey.
17. 17“He remembered.” She said it quietly, and Leila found herself inspecting a crack in the pale ceiling above them.
18. 18On the stairs Sam moved quickly. His shoulders rose beneath the tray as though it had become unexpectedly heavy.
19. 19“Dad didn’t send them,” Leila said. He kept walking, taking care not to touch the dusty wall with his sleeve.
20. 20“He would have.” At the bottom step he waited for her, then added, “There’s a difference. A small one.”
21. 21Outside, a boy asked whether they had cakes. Sam said no, then opened the van and found a crushed bun.
22. 22He peeled away its paper case and offered it on a clean napkin. The boy accepted it without thanking him.
23. 23Sam watched him leave. “Excellent customer service,” Leila said, and was surprised when her brother laughed with her.
24. 24They sat in the parked van while the afternoon light withdrew, window by window, from the building opposite them.
25. 25Leila reached for the ten-pound note. “Shall I put this through the till when we get back to the shop?”
26. 26Sam took it first. For a moment she thought he was going to push it into his own jacket pocket.
27. 27Instead he folded it into a smaller square and placed it beneath a loose paper collar on the dashboard.
28. 28“Dad’s going to ask what we got for all of it.” His thumb rested over the little gold printed name.
29. 29Leila said they could tell him about Mrs Vale. Sam nodded, but did not start the engine straight away.
30. 30In the windscreen their two reflections sat on either side of the bread, waiting for someone to speak first.

Original fiction written for this course.

The last delivery

Original contemporary prose fiction. On the last afternoon before their father closes his bakery, Leila and her older brother Sam deliver unsold bread to nearby flats.

1. 1The van door needed lifting before it would shut. Sam knew the trick; Leila had to ask him twice.
2. 2Inside, the bread lay in blue trays, each loaf wearing the small paper collar their father insisted on.
3. 3He had printed his own name on those collars, in gold letters, twenty-three years before Leila was born.
4. 4Sam turned the radio up. From the passenger seat she could still hear the trays knocking together behind them.
5. 5At the first building he carried three loaves upstairs and came back holding a folded ten-pound note.
6. 6“She insisted,” he said, although Leila had not asked. He tucked it behind the cracked plastic sun visor.
7. 7At number eighteen Mrs Vale opened her door before they knocked, a coat buttoned over her indoor clothes.
8. 8“I thought you might forget.” She addressed Leila, but watched the blue tray in Sam’s hands all the time.
9. 9Sam explained that this was the last delivery. He used his bright customer voice, the one without any questions.
10. 10Mrs Vale nodded too often. Behind her, an electric heater glowed against a wall stained with old damp.
11. 11“Well, everything changes.” She began searching her coat pockets, patting each one as if reassuring a small animal.
12. 12“These aren’t for sale,” Sam said. He put two loaves on the narrow table before she could find anything.
13. 13Leila glanced at him. That morning he had counted every remaining bag, even the torn ones they could not use.
14. 14“Your dad won’t like that,” Mrs Vale said. Her fingers stayed buried in the lining of her coat.
15. 15“He sent them.” Sam looked past her towards the window. “He said you always liked the dark crust.”
16. 16The woman stopped searching. With one hand she smoothed a paper collar that had twisted sideways during the journey.
17. 17“He remembered.” She said it quietly, and Leila found herself inspecting a crack in the pale ceiling above them.
18. 18On the stairs Sam moved quickly. His shoulders rose beneath the tray as though it had become unexpectedly heavy.
19. 19“Dad didn’t send them,” Leila said. He kept walking, taking care not to touch the dusty wall with his sleeve.
20. 20“He would have.” At the bottom step he waited for her, then added, “There’s a difference. A small one.”
21. 21Outside, a boy asked whether they had cakes. Sam said no, then opened the van and found a crushed bun.
22. 22He peeled away its paper case and offered it on a clean napkin. The boy accepted it without thanking him.
23. 23Sam watched him leave. “Excellent customer service,” Leila said, and was surprised when her brother laughed with her.
24. 24They sat in the parked van while the afternoon light withdrew, window by window, from the building opposite them.
25. 25Leila reached for the ten-pound note. “Shall I put this through the till when we get back to the shop?”
26. 26Sam took it first. For a moment she thought he was going to push it into his own jacket pocket.
27. 27Instead he folded it into a smaller square and placed it beneath a loose paper collar on the dashboard.
28. 28“Dad’s going to ask what we got for all of it.” His thumb rested over the little gold printed name.
29. 29Leila said they could tell him about Mrs Vale. Sam nodded, but did not start the engine straight away.
30. 30In the windscreen their two reflections sat on either side of the bread, waiting for someone to speak first.

Original fiction written for this course.